Are You a People Pleaser? Stop Saying YES!

Patricia Moreno
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I developed the habit of saying “yes” to everything and everyone very early on in life. Most people pleasers can say the same thing. We all have one thing in common; we would rather say “yes” than arguing or feeling guilty. It doesn’t take too long to be conditioned to saying “yes,” when doing so avoids confrontation, nagging and all sorts of other hassles.

When you are a kid, trying to please may not be such a bad thing. At 30, it can be crippling.

When you are a kid, trying to please may not be such a bad thing. At 30, it can be crippling.

Saying “yes” to everything is a symptom of fear. When you are afraid of looking bad or being attacked because you have a differing opinion, acquiescing is just easier. But it’s not harmless. All you are doing is training yourself to believe your voice doesn’t matter and that your time and energy are not valuable. Even worse, you are confirming those things with everyone around you.

Saying “yes” to everything results in lack of authenticity and, quite frankly, permits people to have reason to question your integrity. When you blindly agree with everyone and to anything being asked of you, you know in your heart that you are not being true to yourself. You are simply pretending to care. Believe me, no one is that good of an actor. People know. When you don’t trust your own word, no one else will either.

Saying “no” doesn’t make you selfish or self-centered or lazy. It has the opposite effect. By being honest, authentic and saying “no” when I mean “no” and “yes” when I mean “yes,” my relationships are so much more fulfilling. More importantly, it allows you to feel truly heard and understood.

Final point: “No” is a complete sentence. It requires no explanation. It does require using a muscle all people pleasers could benefit from flexing.

A world-renowned mind-body expert, with over 20 years of teaching and public speaking experience, Patricia Moreno has been a trailblazer in the fitness world for many years. Bringing innovative workouts, instructor training programs, coaching events and lifestyle products, Patricia has made a huge impact in the lives of tens of thousands of people worldwide. Her signature workout, the intenSati Method, is a revolutionary concept that combines the power of positivity, cardio exercise, mindfulness and meditation.

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